It’s more than ok to be different

Dressed different with Lily

We’re interesting creatures us human beings boys.  But it seems like most species, we like to flock together with our own.  Just as you notice birds flying together, chickens following each other around, people generally converge with those they feel a connection to.  Ok before we go any further, cats are actually one creature that debunk this theory.  I have met a few cats who can’t stand other cats including our dear old girl Shyla.  She didn’t actually like nearly anyone!   Back on track – so I have noticed since I was young, that I will generally try and connect with others who seem ‘similar’ to me.  Life is all about making and enjoying connections boys.  But in saying that, my message here, is that it’s also ok to be different from others and do your own thing.

Dressed different with Lily
Dressed up for Lily’s birthday  

In a field of horses, always be a unicorn

I can’t claim this saying but I recently spotted it on a card and I loved it.  It was a totally appropriate and perfect choice for your best friend’s birthday Rakeiora.  What I have noticed lately, is that you are appreciating this fact son.  Recently you told me that you actually like unicorns now.  You also like ponies you said.  Yes!  I know this has been prompted by the fact your best friend likes unicorns and ponies.  When I heard you say this I smiled on the inside and felt an internal happy dance going on!  Why?  Because this told me that even though you are totally aware of gender and what that currently means in your social setting, you were comfortable with going against the grain of what ‘girls only like’.  Now I say this because these are actual norms that play out in our world, particularly at your age.  Definitely not because I agree with it.  I touched on this in the post ‘Boys can be beautiful too’ so I won’t go too far into this again.

Dressing up as a witch is something you’ve been totally into lately as well.  All inspired by the book ‘He Wāhi i te Puruma’ or ‘Room on a Broom’ as it’s known in English.  This book is one both you boys have enjoyed lately and I love to see that you’re keen to dress up as a witch even though this character is female.  In the past you would not have been keen to do this but now, you’re totally ok with it.

Dressed different as a witch
Just a witch out for lunch

My hope is that you hold onto this belief for a long time.  I know this thought could easily be knocked out of you by someone else telling you otherwise, but I hope your own knowledge of what is ok with you, stays strong.

Swim in the other direction if you want to

This makes me laugh Rakeiora because at swimming lessons each week, I always remind you ‘whakarongo’, listen to what your teacher tells you.  However, my metaphor tells you to do the opposite!  I can remember a specific time in high school when a lot of friends were doing something and I remember thinking, no actually I don’t agree with that, I think I’ll just do something else.  If I could talk to the young me, I would say, “Ka pai!”  I would congratulate me for ‘swimming in the other direction’ despite what everyone else was doing.

Listen to your internal guide boys.  It will tell you whether to stop and assess whether something is a good idea or not.

Haeata standing tall, different
Our Haeata

Respect other people’s differences

Lately Rakeiora you have been pointing out differences in people’s physical appearances and questioning why these are.  You have also shared which ones you prefer over others.  So interesting how it’s common to be drawn to beauty.  What I am wanting you to learn at the moment is that yes, we all look different and come in different sizes and shapes and that’s ok.  Respect that.  I feel so proud when I see you contemplate your words and clearly thinking about how you’re going to say something so that it’s kind.  Keeping thinking like that.

Batman policeman
Batman Policeman, come henchman!

It’s ok to be different

Boys you don’t have to be like anyone else in this world.  You just have to be you, whatever that is. If that is different from a lot of people, kei te pai, that is more than ok.

Me rere tō ake rerenga – fly your own path.

Mama x

Rakeiora dressed different as a witch
Our Rakeiora ‘witch’ enjoying this moment
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Boys can be beautiful too

It's OK to be different

 

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