It’s amazing how the way you think about a situation, totally changes the experience. As I get older, I realise more and more the power of our thoughts and how it’s not the situation that determines our happiness (or not), but our reaction to it. Perspective changes everything boys.
There have been many instances lately where I’ve found myself in a situation and I can feel the discontent rising. I find when something doesn’t go the way I had imagined it going, but specifically worse than I thought, I feel the control grinch coming to life. I am potentially going to ‘Hulk out’! However what I am now able to do, which I haven’t always in the past, is recognise where my thoughts are taking me. If I find I’m heading down a path of negativity and anger, I am becoming more aware. With this, I’m trying to calm myself down and just take stock on the situation and what I’m thinking about it.
You see boys, your perspective on a situation has amazing power to turn around your experience. Take a minute to understand how others around you are feeling. Be fully aware that your energy (both positive and negative) will be affecting others as well. If it’s not going as good as you thought, what can you do to change that? Some of the best snippet of learning I’ve ever taken on, is realising your ‘circle of influence’. What can you change within your power? What is out of your power that you just need to accept?
Case in point, recently we travelled back to Ruatoki to return your whenua Haeata to be next to where Koro had taken yours Rakeiora. Now we knew this was in the bush near the base of the maunga. Koro didn’t say too much about how far in it was so we just followed his lead. As the hīkoi started, we soon realised this path hadn’t been walked in a long time. Now I love blackberries to eat, but to see them in their wild state when you trying to walk through them is another story! We didn’t have anything to try and cut our way through them, so Papa was using the carrier bag to try and push them out of the way.
The path never seemed to be clear and so we created our own through streams, farm land and more bush that needed clearing. This track we were looking for just seemed a mystery! So day one we called it quits and headed back out (which was just as hard) and decided to make a plan for day two. We all left with many cuts and scratches to tell the story of where we’d been.
Though still not overly keen, I felt a lot more confident we would find this track on day two. We had one of your uncles with us this time, a machete and some secateurs – what could go wrong! Well, we still didn’t find the track and so we had to trek the same path from day one. We did eventually find the waterfall but then a steep climb up the cliff to try and find the exact spot Koro was looking for.
By this time, Haeata was tired, Rakeiora wanted to come up but he couldn’t (for his own safety) and I was worrying about how long this was taking. It was at this very point when Haeata was crying, and Rakeiora was about to have a meltdown, that I needed to change my perspective. I had to just accept that this was the situation, we were far from getting out, so what could I do to make it better. Once I sorted my head out, I sat us down where I could find somewhere, I gave Haeata a drink and started talking to Rakeiora about the bush around us. It was then, that we all settled down – whilst I battled off massive mosquitos!
But my point is boys, that through my thoughts and actions, I was able to turn the situation around for us. I was heading down another track in my mind but I needed to remember the purpose of this particular hīkoi, which was very special. By the way, Koro did find the spot and on our way out, we discovered the track! For future reference, if we had have gone to the right (like I had told Papa!) we would’ve found it when we first started.
So just accept situations my sons, especially when you don’t want to. Don’t fight it, just accept it. Take a moment to change your way of thinking. If you can’t leave the situation, think about what can you do to make it better. And remember the power of your energy on others. Try and be the positive energy. Negative Nancy is never helpful.
Perspective changes everything son.
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